Three Things We All Have In Common
I’ve been collecting stories for Lodi Live now for about a year and half. I know always say this, but it bears repeating. I love getting to talk to people from all over our community. You guys are truly amazing. Even people who I thought I could never have anything in common with, I find connections. I love stories and I love people, and getting to connect with everyone has truly been a gift.
Talking to everyone has also proven to me something I already suspected… We all have a lot in common. When you stop talking and start listening, you start to see those connections. One of the reasons I start Lodi Live is because I was really frustrated with the way the media pits people against one another. I believe we all have a lot more in common than not, and we just get hung up on details. These are three of the things I’ve found we all have in common from the people I’ve talked to the things I’ve noticed.
Everyone has had some hardships
You know how sometimes you’re having a bad day and if someone looks at you wrong you’re up in arms? I mean, how dare they, right? Deep down you know that person probably isn’t really giving you weird looks, but you’re irritable. Maybe you just lost a parent or had a life-changing diagnosis. Maybe your boss was picking on you, or your coworker took your idea at work, or your kid just won’t listen no matter what you do. Maybe you have more bills than income or maybe you missed an important deadline. Who knows. So many things can go wrong at any time. But you know what, it’s happening to all of us. When you look around, know everyone you see is going through something.
We’re all coming to the table with a lot of baggage. Some of us hide it better, some of us are more healed, and some of our wounds are still open and sore, and the slightest thing can make it hurt. Depending on what temperaments we were born with and how we were raised, and where we are now, each wound takes a different amount of time to heal.
Everyone is doing something to help others
Maybe it’s because we have all had our own struggles that we know how important it is to give back. Where ever I go, I notice people going out of their way to do little things for others.
One of the things I see a lot of, and something I admire so much, is how many people take their wounds and heal through creating goodness. I have a coworker who lost her triplets in a stillbirth, and she is now in the process of creating a foundation in their honor to help other parents with medical bills in similar situations (also she’s pregnant again and ready to burst- yay!). I did a story recently on parents who lost their son in his early 20s, which would be shattering, and they’ve used that energy to carry on his legacy of helping others and joining the National High Fives Foundation. I honestly have more stories than space. A lot of the people who are creating good are doing it to heal and to say thank you to those who’ve supported them.
Everyone is doing something, big or small, to give back, and it’s because to some extent, we can relate to others in need.
Everyone wants to feel heard
A lot of the times when I start talking to someone, they’re quick with the facts. Here’s the need, here’s what I’m doing, here’s how you can help. Which is great, but it doesn’t really connect people. It doesn’t tell me the real why of why this cause important to you. A lot of the times, when people tell me this, they’re on autopilot. What I love, is when I keep asking questions people start opening up. If you actually listen, and someone feels heard and respected, they will tell you a lot.
We want to be heard. In all of the nosiness and fast-paced lifestyle, we go on autopilot. We have to! Not everyone wants to listen, and why be vulnerable if someone isn’t going to respect you? That’s why making people feel heard is so important. When you slow down to listen, and to care, people will talk. We all want to be heard and understood. I think listening is one of the kindest things you can do. Show someone they’re valuable by putting down the distractions and listening. No matter where someone comes from, we all want to feel heard.
So those are the three things I’ve learned we all have in common. I think it’s all stuff we intuitively know, but to experience it is something special. Do-Gooders, if you want to put some good out there today, be patient with others, know everyone around you is going through something; be kind, and recognize how others are also being kind; and listen. Make someone feel heard.