How to Surround Yourself with Positive People
There’s a lot of useful “tricks” to see more good news but I think one of the best ways to see more good news is to surround yourself with positive people. No matter how grateful you are, how much you smile, how much you look for the good in the bad, some days just aren’t good days. And some days are fine days but we just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Being surrounded by positive people is the best way to help you see good when you’re just having a day.
Surrounding yourself with positive people may be easy, or it may take a little work, depending on who you’re surrounded by now.
How can you get more people like this in your life?
Focus on the good, not the bad
That goes for the things around you and you yourself! Focus your attention on what makes you happy and share that. Have you heard of the negative bias? Essentially, it’s that our brains are more sensitive to negative news. That’s why a lot of media focuses on negativity. It’s an easy sell. Annoying, right? Researchers believe our brains are hardwired for negativity as an old survival trait. Since we don’t need to focus the way our ancentors did, those negative thoughts can now take a toll on our mental health, leading us to poor habits, messy relationships, and a difficult time following our dreams. So what can we do about it?
Make it a habit to focus on the good. Stop that negative self-talk, and talk yourself up. Did you have a big goal you met at work this week? Congrats! Share your accomplishments! Did you cook the best cookies ever? Yum! Share them and the recipe with loved ones. Did your server do an awesome job? Love it. Tip them well, write thank you, and tell others. Focus on what’s good. Did you have a negative experience? Yeah, that can happen. But don’t torture yourself and relive it over and over by retelling others (unless of course, you need to for safety’s sake, and even then, do it proactively, don’t wallow). Focus on what’s good and other people will notice. When you’re talking about good things, people will start coming to you with more good news.
2. Pursue your goals
Think of something you did that was really hard that you’re proud of. Maybe it was graduating from school. Maybe it was raising kids, starting a business, running a marathon, etc. Whatever it was, remember what you were thinking about during that time. You were focused on achieving your goal, and I bet you started finding a lot of other people who were also set on achieving their similar goals. When you’re focused on you and your big goals in life, you won’t have time to wallow in negativity or hang out with negative people. You’ve got bigger things to do!
When you have goals, you’re not only spending time working towards your goal, you’re simultaneously getting rid of things in your life that are moving you away from your goal. Almost always, spending time working toward a goal means spending time with positive people and spending less time with negative people. So write down your goals, set some small ones you can easily achieve and some big ones to work towards. As you start working towards them and focusing on this positivity, you will find yourself slowly surrounded by more and more positive, goal-oriented people.
3. Pay attention to the energy you’re bringing to the room
Have you ever been in a group setting and someone walks into the room and the entire dynamic changes? Maybe it’s the life of the party who walks in and everyone perks up. Maybe it’s a business meeting and a stressed-out boss walks in and everyone is immediately on guard. Or maybe it’s a group of strangers and a child full of love walks in, ready to talk to everyone and make new friends. Think about the energy you are bringing into a room. When you are walking into a room and making people feel good about themselves, positive people will want to be around you. Before you go into the next group setting, stop and think about your mood and who you want to be. Recalibrate before you walk in, and watch how people approach you differently.
4. Slow down
By slowing down, I don’t necessarily mean physically, but mentally slow down. Pump those breaks. Maybe slowing down for you means meditation or mindfulness. Maybe it means prayer, or maybe it means a morning run. However it works best, treat yourself to this time. This goes hand-in-hand with number three, because when you’re calmer and more relaxed, you’re more in control of your energy. You’re not bumping through life, having life happen to you; you’re experiencing life and taking control of it. You’ll be more open to new people and new people will more open to you. More importantly, positive people will be more open to meeting you.
5. Give what you want to get
Do you want to be around more positive people? Be more positive!! Do you want to be around more people who meet you with friendly greetings? Then do that for others!! Call it karma, or call it starting a trend, whatever you want to call it, when you start putting positivity out, you’ll get more.
I’m going to caution you, bringing new people into your life often doesn’t happen overnight. You might have to join a new volunteer group or at the very least, start getting your coffee at a new spot. But once you start, and you stick with it, you’re going to find yourself surrounded by totally new people.
Good luck, Do-Gooders! Keep putting more good in the world!